Procrastination

On September 21st I printed off instructions for the "Couch-to-5K Running Plan", designed to turn a couch potato like myself into a 5K runner in 2 short months.  Had I began the program that day, I would be more than half way through it, and probably in pretty decent shape for the 5K I'm signed up to do in 10 days. 

In September I also received text books for an independent study course I'm taking for work.  On the very first day that I received them, I printed off a calendar and filled in the chapters that I would need to have read each week, and allowed myself a whole week of review and study for the test in December.  I've barely gotten into chapter 1.

Each weekend I spend hours working on the piles of laundry, paperwork and mail that always seem to build up during the week.  And every weekend I swear that I'm going to spend just a little time each day working on these things so that it's not so overwhelming on the weekend.

Last fall I took a class about couponing, and learned some really great tips for shopping and saving money.  I started out strong, making weekly menus and shopping lists based on store sales and coupons that I had on hand.  I saved so much time and money being organized about our groceries and meal planning!!  Sadly, I haven't done it at all since starting back to work, and the coupons I save from the newspaper each Sunday just sit in the ever-growing piles on my kitchen counters.

Years ago I got into scrap booking for a short while.  It started shortly after we got back from our honeymoon, and I made a beautiful album to record our trip and another trip we took before having kids.  I was really into it around the time Jenna was born, and created an album for each of her first 3 years of life.  I started working on Kara's first year album, but never finished.  And never even began making an album for Jack.  Now all of my supplies and about 5 years worth of photographs sit in boxes down in our basement that haven't been touched since we moved here over 2-1/2 years ago.

The basement.  I never knew that a place could hold such negative feelings or overwhelm me the way that place does.  In addition to the boxes of photos and scrap booking, there are no less than 10 other "projects" that await me down there.  Boxes of frames and art that need to be gone through ... holiday decorations that need to be pared down and better organized ... boxes of hand-me-down clothing that well-intentioned friends and family have given me for my kids ... boxes of kitchen items that probably haven't been opened or used since we moved out of our house in Frankfort (a.k.a. the last house that had ANY kind of kitchen storage to speak of) ... toys that the kids have outgrown, or that have never even been opened ... exercise equipment that never gets used ... boxes of books and resources from my college days, and days of teaching/working in early childhood (and many more like that live in my parents' basement).

Why?
Why do I live like this?
Why do I let these chores hang over me and fill me with anxiety?
Why do I let the mere thought of these things overwhelm me and cause me to not even attempt them?

I don't know, but I do know this:  something has to change.  I always think that I'll have time to do it "later".  Once summer is here and we're not running to and from school every day.  Once we get back from vacation.  Once the weather is really hot, and we'll want to spend some time inside.  Once the summer is over and the kids are back in school and I have more time.  Once the weather cools down and we're spending more time indoors.  Once the holidays are over.

But the truth is, the time is never there.  There's never any "extra".  So I'm going to have to make do with the time I have, and use it to the best of my ability.

I need a life coach.  A professional organizer.  Possibly an intervention and some psychotherapy.  And definitely a drink.

Getting all of this out in print is the first step.  Next is coming up with a plan of attack. 

And that, my friends, is how a New Year's resolution is born.