2 Sides of the Story, 2 Sides of Kara

None of us particularly like the fact that I work weekends.

It's a convenient time in that Mark can be at home with the kids while I'm gone ... but it also means Mark is at home with the kids while I'm gone.  Friday night and ALL DAY Saturday.  I kinda feel for the guy, because I know just how taxing that can be at times.

I also feel for the kids.  They're often sad or disappointed to see me getting ready to leave for work on a Saturday morning, and asking what time I'll be back.

I mostly feel sad for myself.  I hate that I have to miss out on family time.  I don't like the fact that most community events, family parties or get-togethers occur on Saturdays, and I have to miss out on them.  Saturdays are also the days that most kids plan birthday parties, and this month is a prime example.

Jenna and Kara both have parties scheduled on the calendar for every Saturday this month, and this is now part of daddy duty ... getting gifts wrapped and kids to parties on time, only to return in an hour or two to pick them up. 

This weekend was what we all secretly dreaded the most.  Kara was invited to a birthday party for a friend.

A party at Chuck E. Cheese's. 

A party at Chuck E. Cheese's that began at 9:30 on a Saturday morning.


A party at Chuck E. Cheese's that began at 9:30 on a Saturday morning that parents were expected to attend WITH their children.

A party at Chuck E. Cheese's that began at 9:30 on a Saturday morning that parents were expected to attend WITH their children, that Mark had to attend with all 3 children.

On his own.

By himself.

Have I ever mentioned how much Mark loathes that place?

Being the good sport that he is, and the excellent dad that he is, he went.  He took all 3 kids to a party at Chuck E. Cheese's at 9:30 on a Saturday morning, and stayed.  He planned to drop Kara off with the party group, and play with Jenna and Jack while Kara did her thing with the group.

Kara had other plans.

Somewhere between leaving the house and arriving at Chuck's, Kara decided that she didn't want to go to the party.  She didn't want to sit at the party table, away from her family.  She didn't want to play games, or eat cake, or watch presents being opened.

Anyone who knows Kara knows that her decisions are final.  Done deal.  No amount of coaxing, or bribing, or anger, or pleading are going to change her stubborn little mind.

So there she sat at the table with daddy, head down, pouting, while Jenna and Jack played games.

I was at work, so the only reason that I know so much detail about the events of that morning is because I've heard about it at least 3 times since then.  I also was lucky enough to get a blow-by-blow account via text messages sent to my cell phone while I was at work.

It was an emotional morning.  There was anger.  Embarrassment.  Frustration.  Vows to never do it again.

And that was just from daddy.

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We have no idea what set Kara off ... what made her decide that she wasn't going to have anything to do with the party that morning ... or why she couldn't be convinced otherwise.

But we've never known.  Kara is Kara.  She's her own person, through and through.  She knows what she wants, and she's not afraid to assert her stubborn little nature, dig her heels in, and refuse to conform.

She was the perfect, calm, content, sweet little baby who grew into the toddler with some of the worst tantruming tendencies I've ever seen.  She's the preschooler who cried from October-March, ever single time I dropped her off at school.  She loves something one day, and hates it the next.  She's refused to participate in class performances, field trips, and parties.  She's volatile, extreme in her emotions, a screamer, a cryer, a door slammer ... she's a sad little cryer, she's painfully shy at times, and scared of her own shadow. 

She's frustrating, enraging, heart-breaking, and enduring all at once.

But she's also sweet and loving and kind.  She craves attention from the ones she loves, is always the first to climb in your lap and snuggle in, the one who wants to sit by mommy and climb on daddy. 

She takes joy in helping around the house, always wanting to cook and clean or do whatever I'm doing.  She just wants to be with me, to spend time with me, no matter what.

She's absolutely sweet with smaller, younger children.  Sometimes even her little brother. 

She's funny ... always making faces, or telling jokes, or being silly, sometimes wise beyond her years.

She's my little girl.  My baby.  She always will be. 

I try to look to the future and wonder what she'll be like as an adolescent?  A teenager?  A young adult?

Will her stubbornness actually benefit her as she gets older, make her immune to peer pressure and more likely able to assert herself and stand up for herself?  Or will it turn into a behavior problem that we're beginning to unknowingly fuel now?  Will she get over her shyness and awkwardness and go on to make lots of friends, or will she always be a child that prefers to be alone, more introverted than extroverted?  Should we push her harder and discipline her more consistently for the way she acts, or would that be ignoring her emotional needs and making the situation worse?

So many questions, so few answers.  Except for one. 

Love her, be there for her, do our very best. 

And pray.